Remember how I wasn’t going to buy any books in June? Yeah… that went out the window.

Why on earth is a book about Twilight in this section? I mean, I love all things Twilight, but this just seemed odd. Then I saw the rest of the title…

Defining Twilight: Vocabulary Workbook for Unlocking the SAT, ACT, GED, and SSAT

*blink*

Can you resist the allure of Edward’s myriad charms—his ocher eyes and tousled hair, the cadence of his speech, his chiseled alabaster skin, and his gratuitous charm? Will you hunt surreptitiously and tolerate the ceaseless deluge in Forks to evade the sun and uphold the facade? Join Edward and Bella as you learn more than 600 vocabulary words to improve your score on the *SAT, ACT^®, GED^®, and SSAT^® exams!

I am baffled yet completely delighted that this book exists.

But I wasn’t there to find help for the SAT so I turned around and scanned the three shelves devoted to books about the GRE. Yes. Three shelves full.

I plopped on the floor and started comparing the different books and finally concluded that they’re probably all about the same. I ended up picking one of the larger ones because if it has more pages it likely covers more information.

So now I’m armed and ready. I bought a new calculator (apparently someone who hasn’t done real math in 9 years doesn’t own one anymore) and pens/pencils and a fresh notebook.

Then I decided to tell my parents. Well, two of them at least. I told my mom, and as I expected she wasn’t thrilled about it. I had to ask her to please not be negative and to just be excited with me. It didn’t work. Then she was convinced my stepdad would agree with her so she made sure to tell me to talk to him about it. His response? Honey you can do whatever you want to do in this world. And then he offered to pay for me to take the GRE.

At least one member of my family is showing me support. It’s kind of sad that it’s someone I pick to be in my family, rather than someone who is family by blood or law.

But she’ll come around.

Truth be told, I’ve been depressed all week.

Hell, an episode of Ugly Betty just made me cry.

I’m lonely. Stuck out in the middle of nowhere, and every single day since I’ve been here, my stepdad has managed to find a way to tell me that I don’t meet his expectations. The other day I spent the whole day with my mom. I got up, showered and left. Got home around 4:30. He got home around 5:30. The first things out of his mouth when he walked in and went into the kitchen.

Don’t you ever do anything?

Can you ever take out the trash?

Do you ever turn a light off?

Excuse me? I took the trash out yesterday you ass and didn’t use it today. THAT’S ALL YOUR SHIT. You left the light on. I just got home and haven’t been in there.

And yes, I said all of that to him. He apologized. But still. Every day it’s something else. And our relationship is already rocky enough because of the last two years (he dropped off the face of the earth as far as I go… stopped answering my calls one day and I didn’t hear from him for almost 2 years). He and I have never really talked those issues out. He’s apologized profusely, and cried a lot. But I’ve never told him what his actions did to me.

Is it really necessary for me to tell people why it hurts when they hurt me?

It shouldn’t be. But it seems like I always have to because they just don’t get it.

I have a new friend in my life. In my online life, at least. And he wants to meet. Last weekend I ended up on board, but there was some miscommunication that ended up with me feeling betrayed and him feeling guilty so it didn’t happen. Is it worth the risk to try and meet up again?

Vampire Diaries premiered this week. I’m disappointed. I think if I’d never read the books, I’d love the show but too many things were changed to make it good TV. One of my favorite characters (Meredith) isn’t even in the show, and she was a huge character in the book. I’ll keep watching, but I have to figure out how to completely remove the book from my thoughts when I tune in.

I also finally finished reading the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris. Now I think I’m ready to watch Trueblood. Maybe.

I’m taking a few days break in reading to watch the Anne of Green Gables Trilogy. Finally. I’ve seen the first two parts, but I’ve never seen the final chapter. Then I’ll pick up my Ted Dekker books again. It’s weird reading these again. My perspective is completely different, but I still feel the same emotions reading them that I felt before. It’s odd.

That’s enough of the boring and mundane in Mandi’s life for now.

Positively, absolutely, I can feel it in my bones, happy.

And today, after work, I went to Barnes and Noble. I had a strict three book policy – but walked out with four. And as soon as I got home, I got comfortable in my pajamas and opened the cover of the first book I picked up when I walked into the store. And I didn’t stop until I finished it. Some three and a half hours later.

Julie and Julia by Julie Powell

I think this book changed my life.

It’s the memoirs of Julie. A year in the life of a married secretary at a government agency who decided, on a whim, to make every recipe in Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking (Volume 1). And she was going to make all 500+ recipes in a year.

I love to cook, so this story was right up my alley. I’m terrified to think about eating, let alone cooking, the majority of the things she described. Bone marrow sauce on steak? Calf Brains? Kidney? Liver? No, thanks. I’m not quite brave enough for that much food adventure.

But Julie was. As was her husband, Eric.

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something about the story just speaks to me. It speaks to me of a life I wish I had. A life I know I still can have.

Julie was twenty-nine when she began her adventure and changed her life. I’m nearly twenty-seven. The only actual similarity in our lives is our addiction to Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I’m enough of a dork that I literally squealed when I discovered her secret). At twenty-seven, I feel old. It’s ridiculous, I know. In this day and age, many people wait until their thirties to settle down and get married and have a family. But I feel as if i’m nearly thirty and my life has not yet begun.

This book was, for Julie, the story of how her life began. In her twenty-ninth year.

It gives me hope.

And… for those of you who don’t like to read (why are you reading a blog, anyways?). They made a movie.

Guess where I’ll be on August 27th?

Looks like another movie I’ll be going to see alone!

All of my YA series are caught up, and I really do need to evolve to the land of Adult fiction.

I’ve been told the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan is a good series, especially since someone is finally finishing it. Also the Mistborn series.

Any other suggestions? Obviously I’m into supernatural and fantasy stuff, but I really read most anything – except westerns!

One of the ideas presented in the book is this:

Darkness does not always equate to evil, just as light does not always bring good.

What do you think of that idea? It’s so counter-intuitive to everything I’ve ever been taught… and for that reason alone, this idea intrigues me.

And for some reason, another quote just popped into my head – “Don’t go into the light Carol Ann!”

But you know, it’s kind of rare to think of light as being bad. Light = pure, dark = impure. Why has this been drilled into us?