I’ve wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don’t want the responsibility inherent in the acknowledgment. We don’t want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage. And if life isn’t remarkable, then we don’t have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants.
But I’ve noticed something. I’ve never walked out of a meaningless movie thinking all movies are meaningless. I only thought the movie I walked out on was meaningless. I wonder, then, if when people say life is meaningless, what they really mean is their lives are meaningless. I wonder if they’ve chosen to believe their whole existence is unremarkable, and are projecting their dreary life on the rest of us.
This was the first of many passages in Donald Miller’s new book that caused me to dog ear the page. At first I was hesitant to read this book, considering where I am in my faith, but I’m so glad I did.
This book is Don’s attempt to find meaning in life while editing his story for the Blue Like Jazz movie. And I see myself in the pages. He talks about taking the easy route – sitting in front of the tv and typing words on a computer, rather than going out and creating your own story. This is what I do. This is what I need to change.
And once you know what it takes to live a better story, you don’t have a choice. Not living a beter story would be like deciding to die, deciding to walk around numb until you die, and it’s not natural to want to die.
Pretty much. I’ve certainly been walking around numb. It’s time for a better story.
He also talks about how a character is what he does. A person is what he does – not what he thinks. This was a prevalent thought in the book, since the driving force behind the memoir was converting Blue Like Jazz to a screenplay. Part of what makes that book so great is the reader’s inability to get inside Don’s head. You can’t do that in a movie. You have to show it. A character is what he does. And the same is true in real life. You don’t know what I think or feel, only what I do. This is why he wrote, “The story we tell ourselves is very different from the story we tell the world.”
Perhaps one of the reasons I’ve avoided having a clear ambition is that second you stand up and point toward a horizon, you realize how much there is to lose.
…
It’s true that while ambition creates fear, it also creates the story. But it’s a good trade, because as soon as you point toward a horizon, life no longer feels meaningless. And suddenly there is risk in your story and a question about whether you’ll make it. You have a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Let me just take a moment to testify to the truth in those words. I was fired 2 months ago, through no fault of my own. And that led to some of the most intense depression I’ve ever felt. I felt useless and worthless. Not finding a job increased those feelings, and with each unanswered application I sunk lower and lower.
Then one day I set a goal.
And it was like the weight of the world was lifted. My circumstances hadn’t changed. I’m still unemployed and I still got fired. But my perspective shifted. Because I set a goal.
Of course, setting that goal isn’t the end. Now we have to see if I have what it takes to attain that goal. I have to get off my ass and move. And it’s going to be hard. But it’ll be worth it.
But that goal is the beginning of my better story. The good news is that this happened before I read this book. This book is affirming what I want to do, rather than telling me to do it.
There are so many more passages I’d love to quote here, but really… you should just go read it yourself. It’s inspired and brilliant and life changing.
