You know, it seems like if it’s not one thing, it’s another.
When I was in Denver, life was crappy, but I adored my job. If nothing else, I didn’t dread getting up and going to work everyday. Now, life is pretty okay, I’m getting to be really happy with who I am as a person, but I absolutely dread getting up and going to work everyday. And this is a place where I spend 10 hours of my day (including the commute). I’m home and awake for 4 hours or so each night. The rest of my time is spent being absolutely miserable.
Three months and it’s like this.
I want to start looking for something new, but I’m torn. In my generation, we treat jobs we love like a right, instead of a privilege. I have this sense of entitlement. But then I think about generations past. People had the kind of work ethic where they stayed in miserable jobs for 20+ years. So… I’m torn. Am I showing a lack of character by not wanting to deal with it?
I don’t expect every job to be perfect. I don’t even expect to find another job I love as much as I loved working at DRM (at least not until I get my bookstore). But there has to be a happy medium.
Doesn’t there?
I’m not saying it’s the case for you but I remember many years ago when I was in a great job but thinking of moving jobs. I was really dissatisfied and wanted to change.
A friend’s dad pointed out the fact that I had a great job and maybe it was more about my life outside of work that needed some attention. He was right. I changed things in my private life and my work life seemed so much better.
As I say, it might not be relevant in your caase but it’s always good to check out exactly what the issue might be.
On the other hand, we spend a huge proportion of our lives at work so it makes sense to find a job we really enjoy. We’ll never find a job that doesn’t have it’s down sides but you should at least try to find a job you can love.
[Reply]
It’s definitely the job. As I said, outside of work, I’m pretty happy with my life and with who I’m becoming.
At work though…
For the first time in my life, someone sees my job performance as unsatisfactory. And I’m accustomed to exceeding expectations. And I *know* I do a very good job. It’s just that this person is a micro manager with a destructive personality. I’ve *never* seen her say something positive in the three months that I’ve been there. I frequently have to go and tell my team that I *know* they’re busting their butts to get things done and that they *are* doing a really good job, regardless of what some people say. It feels like her purpose is to tear people down. And frankly, I don’t need to deal with that.
[Reply]
Sounds like you need to get out. Leaving doesn’t show lack of character when you’re forced into a toxic relationship with fellow workers.
In the past people may have stayed in miserable jobs for 20+ years but that doesn’t mean that it was a good thing.
[Reply]
OMG!! Get out of that job! There’s no reason, in the year 2009, to stay in a job that you hate. (well, that’s not true, since the ecomomy is so damned dismal, you may be stuck for awhile). Our parents and grandparents didn’t have the same choices we have now. I just had this conversation with my mother, who has been working in a job she hates for over 15 years. She envies that fact that my husband and I move around when we feel it’s necessary.
it doesn’t make you stoic or admirable or strong if if you decide to stay. It just means you’re afraid to take a risk and get out of a terrible situation. On a totally different front– women used to stay with an abusive husband for 20+ years because there was no alternative- it’s just what you were “supposed to do.” Now women kick the bastards to the curb if they refuse to act in a civilized manner!! Times change, don’t be afraid to!
[Reply]
well as I said on facebook. I don’t like my job much either. But this economy is sucking and my area is not great for tech jobs. But my wife and 1.9 kids and 2 dogs bring me a lot of joy.
regardless, if you can’t or won’t switch jobs, remember your job isnt you. At least it doesnt have to be. Lots of people view their job as a means to an end. Like in order to have a nice kitchen, you gotta do dishes.
[Reply]
I’m working on it. Looking elsewhere. I can’t leave until I find something else. Gotta pay those bills!
[Reply]
I’ve had a similar time lately. My employers rented me out to one company – most boring job I’ve done since my high school paper round. Finally got myself rented to another branch of my company, and the job is interesting, challenging, occasionally scary… and five hours’ travel away from my home.
I’m currently commuting every week, staying in hotels in one of the lamer parts of Britain. The weird thing is, it’s still better than working the boring job – I’m much less emotionally exhausted. But there’s no way I can stay here forever, my friendships will collapse.
I think it sounds like you’ve got the right idea here. In the short term, persist; in the long term, leave.
Incidentally, nice blog revamp.
[Reply]
Wait her out and take her job. It’s not you. It’s her (I have been her before:(…)
[Reply]
Fear is holding me back. Which is silly. How many times have I moved across the country and started something new?
It should be easy. But it’s not.
I’ll either stick it out and learn to love it… or I’ll eventually get the push I need to do what I really want to do.
[Reply]