Comments on: Drinking is bad, mmmk? http://www.mandikaye.com/2008/12/07/drinking-is-bad-mmmk/ Tue, 10 Jan 2012 18:55:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Lifewish http://www.mandikaye.com/2008/12/07/drinking-is-bad-mmmk/comment-page-1/#comment-5578 Lifewish Wed, 07 Jan 2009 23:07:28 +0000 http://www.mandikaye.com/?p=1005#comment-5578 I know what you mean about the praying. My friends don't tend to phrase it like that, but there's still an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Gnomes_plan.png" rel="nofollow">underpants gnome</a> step in the logic: 1) think happy thoughts at me 2) ??? 3) happiness Needless to say, this rarely achieves much. Beer helps, but only until the morning sunlight hits your eyes. One thing that does work for me when I'm feeling lame and/or hungover is doing something constructive with my own two hands. Doesn't have to be much - even tidying my flat works (with the result that, after the Christmas debauchery, my flat has never been so tidy). Of course it doesn't solve real problems, but it helps keep the bad thoughts at bay. Whatever approach you choose to deal with these mental states, just remember that you're not damaged or a bad person for feeling this way. And you're probably not as alone as you feel - just look around you. I know what you mean about the praying. My friends don’t tend to phrase it like that, but there’s still an underpants gnome step in the logic:
1) think happy thoughts at me
2) ???
3) happiness
Needless to say, this rarely achieves much. Beer helps, but only until the morning sunlight hits your eyes.
One thing that does work for me when I’m feeling lame and/or hungover is doing something constructive with my own two hands. Doesn’t have to be much – even tidying my flat works (with the result that, after the Christmas debauchery, my flat has never been so tidy). Of course it doesn’t solve real problems, but it helps keep the bad thoughts at bay.
Whatever approach you choose to deal with these mental states, just remember that you’re not damaged or a bad person for feeling this way. And you’re probably not as alone as you feel – just look around you.

]]> By: techskeptic http://www.mandikaye.com/2008/12/07/drinking-is-bad-mmmk/comment-page-1/#comment-5386 techskeptic Mon, 22 Dec 2008 01:15:08 +0000 http://www.mandikaye.com/?p=1005#comment-5386 I haven't popped in very often recently (but miraculously, I did manage to send you that gift I have been talking about for about a year!). Sounds like it was good for a while and then things have gone bad. I am horribly sorry this is like this. But like in my previous comments when you were feeling down, I'm just here reminding you that time and change will help tremendously. This move you are having to do, may turn out to be the best thing to help all this. Believe me, I know heartache, but so do most people. I also know that is it common, curable, and with every low there is a high (otherwise how can there be a low?). When I got divorced, I had the exact same feeling you had: Oh cripes, now I have to <i>date</i>! Ugh! I thought, crap, now I gotta go to bars again. I was not looking forward to restarting my love life again. But I did, and I did it by figuring out what I liked and what time of person I admired and then found things to do outside of work and home that other people did also. Well, its not like I met my wife doing one of those things (ironically, we met in a bar, but it wasn't like either of was there to actually find a mate, we just both happened to be in the same bar with people we both liked). But regardless, I was enjoying being myself and doing the things I liked while Ms. Right came along. My way may not feel right to you, but I am a firm believer in actions and change as the way out of all misery. Was this at all helpful? I have no idea, I dont even know what actions or which changes would be helpful to you (becuase, well, I don't really know you that well or that long :) ) Think towards the future. One year from now you will feel better about this and be on to new things. Be well. I haven’t popped in very often recently (but miraculously, I did manage to send you that gift I have been talking about for about a year!).

Sounds like it was good for a while and then things have gone bad. I am horribly sorry this is like this. But like in my previous comments when you were feeling down, I’m just here reminding you that time and change will help tremendously. This move you are having to do, may turn out to be the best thing to help all this.

Believe me, I know heartache, but so do most people. I also know that is it common, curable, and with every low there is a high (otherwise how can there be a low?).

When I got divorced, I had the exact same feeling you had: Oh cripes, now I have to date! Ugh! I thought, crap, now I gotta go to bars again. I was not looking forward to restarting my love life again. But I did, and I did it by figuring out what I liked and what time of person I admired and then found things to do outside of work and home that other people did also. Well, its not like I met my wife doing one of those things (ironically, we met in a bar, but it wasn’t like either of was there to actually find a mate, we just both happened to be in the same bar with people we both liked). But regardless, I was enjoying being myself and doing the things I liked while Ms. Right came along.

My way may not feel right to you, but I am a firm believer in actions and change as the way out of all misery. Was this at all helpful? I have no idea, I dont even know what actions or which changes would be helpful to you (becuase, well, I don’t really know you that well or that long :) )

Think towards the future. One year from now you will feel better about this and be on to new things.

Be well.

]]> By: Scott Hatfield, OM http://www.mandikaye.com/2008/12/07/drinking-is-bad-mmmk/comment-page-1/#comment-5368 Scott Hatfield, OM Tue, 16 Dec 2008 09:36:36 +0000 http://www.mandikaye.com/?p=1005#comment-5368 (sigh) We all need do-overs now and then, and it sucks that we can't always get them. Personally, I can't stand booze that tastes like medicine, so I've never had much interest in doing shots of tequila. But I've been tripped up by other stuff in my time. You probably aren't going to find the support that you need right now from the occasional blog reader like me, and your impending move (and, let's face it, the holidays) mean you will probably need more support in the near future. So I think your instincts about finding new people to hang with is good. I have no clue as to how you go about doing something that you know you probably should do, but don't know how to do....probably the best thing is just to try some new things that happen to have strangers connected to them, and see what happens. Anyway, about the prayer thingy....if people want to pray for you, that's great, but it's also 'OK' to tell people you just want them to listen without calling in the Holy Fix-It, or that maybe you just want people who will accept you where you're at without trying to judge. Me? I'll shoot a prayerful thought your way, too...but I think you should want people in your life who include you in their prayers all the time, not just when issues come up. And by the way, a person is more than just the sum of their (sometimes) fractured relationships. You're a vibrant, interesting young woman and I enjoy reading your blog. Take care! (sigh) We all need do-overs now and then, and it sucks that we can’t always get them. Personally, I can’t stand booze that tastes like medicine, so I’ve never had much interest in doing shots of tequila. But I’ve been tripped up by other stuff in my time.

You probably aren’t going to find the support that you need right now from the occasional blog reader like me, and your impending move (and, let’s face it, the holidays) mean you will probably need more support in the near future. So I think your instincts about finding new people to hang with is good. I have no clue as to how you go about doing something that you know you probably should do, but don’t know how to do….probably the best thing is just to try some new things that happen to have strangers connected to them, and see what happens.

Anyway, about the prayer thingy….if people want to pray for you, that’s great, but it’s also ‘OK’ to tell people you just want them to listen without calling in the Holy Fix-It, or that maybe you just want people who will accept you where you’re at without trying to judge. Me? I’ll shoot a prayerful thought your way, too…but I think you should want people in your life who include you in their prayers all the time, not just when issues come up. And by the way, a person is more than just the sum of their (sometimes) fractured relationships. You’re a vibrant, interesting young woman and I enjoy reading your blog. Take care!

]]>