This blog used to have faithful readers, because I was a faithful writer. That’s definitely changed. I doubt I have *any* readers left out there, but if I do… here’s an update on the life that is mine.
One of the reasons I don’t write here anymore is because of the biggest change that’s occurred in my life. Most of you know what that change is, and I still can’t come right out and say it publically because of the ramifications that may have regarding my place of employment. Until I’m in a position to change that, mum’s the word. Although I’m about to let caution fly to the wind!
I’m so frustrated with people being “worried” about me because I no longer think like they do. Honestly, just because I don’t think like you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. If I could only tell you how many times I’ve heard, “Well you can just believe…” “Well you don’t have to think…” “Well here’s what I do…”
WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK OR DO? Okay, so that’s harsh, I know. But honestly, when I come to you and tell you that I think differently, DON’T RESPOND TO ME BY TRYING TO CONVINCE ME TO THINK LIKE YOU.
LISTEN TO ME.
HEAR ME.
Don’t talk AT me.
And people wonder why I’m so isolated these days. There’s too much drama in the world. It’s like I’m a drama magnet. There’s drama going on among my friends, and honestly, I want nothing to do with it. I refuse to be caught in the middle of it, so I don’t talk to anyone about it. I refuse to choose sides.
I prefer my online life to my real life.
Although there’s been plenty of drama online in the last 6 months as well. Although most of it is gone. Now I’m left with one really complicated relationship and a lot of really good friends.
I’ve finally felt what it’s like to be in love. I’ve also, for the first time, felt the pain of heartbreak. And I’m still at the point where I refuse to let go because there’s some glimmer of hope that things will work out. I’m an eternal optimist it seems (even had one friend tell me to “be a realist, for once”).
I’m also still super homesick. I read an article in Country Magazine the other day (my granny and papa mailed me some good ole country reading last week) that featured NC, and it made me cry. Granted, I was already having a rough day, but the pictures… so gorgeous. There’s just no other state like NC. And there’s only one reason that I would be okay not living there for the rest of my days.
Hopefully I’ll be able to post more. Sometimes there are things that are just too hard to write about. Which is odd for me, because I’ve always been a little too transparent online.
Until next time…