Sometimes I Hate My Life
Jan 3rd, 2008 by Amanda
You know how I’ve been working on not caring what people think of me?
Well I had a relapse tonight.
There are two people in my life who consistently tell me that they hate the tv shows I like or think the movies I like are stupid.
Do you know what that does to a person?
I jokingly said tonight, “If you don’t like what I like then you don’t like me.” But… it feels true. When they call something I like stupid, it feels like they’re calling me stupid. When they hate something I like, it feels like a judgment on me.
I don’t expect my friends to like everything I like. That would just be boring. But do they have to be so vocally negative about the things that I like?
I’ve taught my 9 year old son that he’s not to say something like, “This tastes awful” if he doesn’t like what’s on his plate but he is certainly allowed to let us know if he doesn’t personally like the taste of something.
The difference we want him to learn is that just because he doesn’t like something doesn’t mean that it’s not valuable to someone else. His tastes are different to others’ tastes - not better or worse - different.
Personal tastes are subjective. Maybe the people you’re talking about still haven’t learnt the lesson that my 9 year old has.
Some anecdotes… helpful? I dont know. I hope so.
I sent myself to the hospital twice worrying about what people thought of me. I’m serious.
The first time was in ninth grade when I got my first stomach ulcer. I lost so much weight throwing up from the ulcer i looked like a skeleton before they figured out what it was (9th graders don’t generally get stomach ulcers). All the doctors thought it was weird.
Then my sophomore year in college, with me trying to meet people, fit in, align myself with the people that I thought would allow my personal popularity to rise… I got in the hospital again. The drinking didnt help either.
This time I just said, “Screw em, if they don’t like me, that’s their problem”. Easy for me to tell you this, but it took two hospital trips and multiple recurrences before I figured it out.
I have not had any stomach trouble since. I’m 40 now.
Another little thing, stupid is still funny. Monty Python is the epitome of stupid, so is the office, Big Bang theory and Mr. Bean all of which sometimes get me rolling on the floor. (although the Office usually sends me under the covers with how embarrassing that guy is, I can’t watch, its worse than a horror film).
Anyway, may I suggest that there is a little of two problems? Some insensitivity on their part and perhaps too much sensitivity on yours? I know that when you think something is funny and you watch it with friend who don’t, the funny gets sucked out of it. but still, just don’t watch the office with those people anymore.
tell em togo suck an egg… that is my mature and whitty reply…
sorry they suck sometimes!
They probably don’t realise the effect they’re having. “Hey, we’re just insulting a movie, not you“. Different things bug different people.
Hmmm… I have some ideas.
There’s some who think that the people who are the most outspoken about disliking something are actually the most attracted to it. It’s the fact that they like it, and it disturbs them that they like it, that causes them to get angry about it (if that makes sense). So, maybe, they secretly like the shows, but have to cut you down in order to make themselves feel better for wanting to join you on the sofa with popcorn.
Or they could just have an overinflated opinion of their own tastes.
Pick whichever one you feel would shock them most.