I’m beginning to think it’s impossible for me to have good relationships in real life (apart from family).
I don’t think I’ll lose my close Christian friends – but the dynamic will certainly change. And I won’t see them as much socially, because a lot of the time that we’re together it’s church related. That’s going to stop.
My best friend has also decided to leave Christianity behind – for reasons different than my own, and neither of us really influenced the other. However, it’s hard work to be her friend. I feel like I’m putting in all the effort, and if I stop for a day or two, it falls apart and it’s my fault. She constantly tries to make me feel guilty for not doing things she wants me to do, and I’m tired of it.
I know relationships are supposed to be work… but isn’t it supposed to be a two way street?
I really think I’m doomed to never have good relationships. Me with relationships is like mixing oil and water. They just don’t mix.
I know from experience that having a good relationship is really tough to accomplish. It takes an incredible amount of time and energy, and, yes, both parties should share in that effort. I have plenty of acquaintances but very few close friends because of this.
I think that the more you become genuinely who you are, the easier it is to have a good relationship. You’ll start becoming attractive to the right sorts of people…people who really make you feel like yourself. Keep working on yourself…just trust that relationships and companionship will come along when it’s time.
Until then, you’ve got all your internet friends!
I can’t really say much more than… I agree with these ladies before me…
Your best friend should realize that you aren’t just there for her but she should also be there for you. Anyway, for your information oil and water do mix well… I use both of them as ingredients when I bake
and out comes a delicious concoction that I tend to want to eat all by my gluttonous and pregnant self.
Well… I guess since I’m pregnant it’s not really all by myself… but hey… my little boy is an incubus… he gets hungry even more than I do…
If you stop for a day or two, and it falls apart, it’s most definitely not your fault. Your supposed friend seems to be expecting you to put forth all of the effort.
@Carmel:
I think a better analogy is that water and oil need an additional ingredient to mix. Flour comes to mind. Consider “flour” as a common ground that can be shared, that overcomes the differences between you.
Of course, there are many more ingredients that can be added, depending on how you want the recipe to turn out. The more additional ingredients/commonalities that you have, the less effect your differences will have.