A few days ago I decided to email my post A Simpler Way to most of my friends and family (most of them either don’t know about this site or choose not visit it).
Apparantly, that was a mistake.
I got a phone call Saturday night from an old friend (we were best friends in high school and mostly through college). Turns out she had read my email and was concerned about me because it seemed as if I was following a man who doesn’t preach the gospel (her words, not mine). She said that she’d really like for her husband to have a talk with me and handed him the phone. At this point I’m so shocked that I really don’t know what to say. Then he gets on the phone and starts questioning my beliefs and whether or not I truly believe the gospel. Then he tells me that he agrees with me about hypocrisy in the church, but if I want to do something radical, go out and buy boxes of Chick tracts and pass those out.
It was all I could do not to laugh and hang up on him.
Finally I was able to tell him that if we continued the conversation I would have a hard time answering his questions on the spot because I was on the defensive, but if he and his wife wanted to write up some specific questions in an email I would be glad to spend some time thinking them through and answering them clearly and biblically. He said that would be fine – and then continued with his questions.
It turns out that they fall into the category of those who make the bizarre logic that if you don’t believe in a literal 6 day creation then you don’t really believe in the cross either.
Finally I just had to get off the phone with them because the conversation was doing more harm than good, but I did direct them here to ID to read about my recent crisis of faith and to see where I really am spiritually. Then I emailed them more information about Shane Claiborne, including a 50 minute video of Shane speaking.
So last night they tag-teamed me in a chat room. It was excruciating. I’m not sure how long “we” were talking (mainly him telling me I was wrong), but I’m really glad that the week before I figured out that my goal in life is to please God and not the people around me.
Apparantly, Shane isn’t saved. And the reason Shane isn’t saved is because he went to Calcutta to “learn love” from Mother Teresa. And since Roman Catholicism is a perverted form of Christianity based on Roman paganism, there’s no way anything Shane did or learned while there was of the Spirit of God. Don’t you know that light can’t have any fellowship with the darkness?
I tried my very level hardest not to let my attitude appear in the conversation. I understood that the reason we were having the conversation was because they perceived I was doing something foolish and not of God and they called me on it because they love me. So I wanted to be Christlike in my response. I did warn them that they had me on the defensive, so not everything I responded would be exactly coherent.
But then, these “great Christian” people started using sarcasm. After that (and constantly being told that what I was saying was “incorrect”), I couldn’t take it anymore and I left. I told them that they had done nothing to convince me of their way, but had pushed me farther towards the path I’m taking. And that debating people and telling them they’re wrong isn’t a way to get people to listen to you. I don’t think they cared.
They are exactly the type of people who have caused me to lose faith in the institution of the church. I don’t want to be like that.
It makes me so sad to read this. All anyone has to do to see that this is biblical is go to Acts 2:42-47.
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”
Also, the godliness or biblical relevance of this idea has nothing to do with Claiborne’s salvation. This has nothing to do with him. This has everything to do with Jesus.
I’m glad they didn’t talk you out of this idea and that you’re still resolved to see this come to fruition. I’m praying abundant blessings on this vision.
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Good to know the fundies are still growing strong. I think that term readily applies to your “friends”.
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Amanda,
Do you mind revealing what denomination you’re a part of currently?
I am sorry that you received this reaction.
You have said that you worry too much about what other people think. I would file this away into that catalog. If you are a part of a group that is always focused on the externals of Chrisitanity, like what you should wear, read, and watch, then you will have a difficult time with your faith.
Tune out the voices from outside and listen to what God is speaking to your heart. If you find the path that He is leading you on, what other people think won’t matter to you.
At the end of it all, it comes down to you and God. Don’t sweat other people and their possibly misinformed opinions.
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I always type too fast….I meant Christianity
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I’m very sorry you had this experience. I’m sure, as you said, they meant well and were truly concerned for you, but, as you also said, this type of attack is never effective in changing a person’s mind to agreement with the attacker’s beliefs. Hate is not the way to effect change.
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People are always afraid of that which they do not understand. I am sorry they took the bible out “tried” to thrash you, we need a lot less of that, and a lot more loving on eachother.
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I clicked on that link for Chick Tracks…boy do I regret that! I can’t believe so much hate exists in the guise of love.
But at the same time, that’s all that these people know. I can’t really hate them for it. I just feel incredibly sorry for them and for the people (like you) that they feel responsible for convincing.
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It’s so sad that some people seem more intent on winning an argument than winning someone back to Christ. If they were seriously concerned for your salvation they would be showing you love and concern while gently trying to point out error. It sounds like they feel threatened by anyone who doesn’t think ‘exactly’ the same way they do.
Don’t let yourself be caught in an argument with them. You can’t win. Just keep following Jesus and let the Holy Spirit gently, and lovingly show you where you need to be.
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I can sympathise with you, Amanda. My wife is Roman Catholic, but I was born and raised Pentecostal. My parents weren’t “practicing”, but a good number of my extended family were.
After I got married, most of the fundamentalist branch of my family haven’t had much contact with me. Fortunately, the younger ones, who are both friends and family, actually like my wife. I did have one very short conversation with the preacher from my cousin’s church. He said I needed to come to a real church again, and I simply replied, “I’m going to a real church, now.” And walked away.
The ironic thing is, if they knew of my disbelief, my mother and father would probably be ostracized, also. That’s the only reason I’m keeping it under wraps. Only my wife, and a few of my friends, know. There may come a day when I have to be more open about it, but I’m going to avoid it as long as I can. Mainly because there’s been so much in-fighting amongst my family (even though they’re the same faith, they don’t see eye to eye), and I don’t want to make any more trouble than I have to.
Regardless, back to you. I’m glad that you are following what you feel is right, instead of what someone tells you. That’s the only way for someone to be happy.
By the way, you’re welcome at my blog, anytime.
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