This is a guest post – sort of. I read this over on Sara’s vox and loved it so much I asked if I could repost it.
How Binary Thinking Invaded my Kitchen
by Sara Johansson
I’m Swedish-Canadian. As such, my national heroes are often unsung, and I have been trained to see them among the throngs of the more visible popular favourites. In fact, when I learn a new word or concept, hear about new research or technology, read a new writer, or hear new music I automatically categorize it as “Swedish” or “not Swedish”, and as “Canadian” or “not Canadian”. This is the flavour of my existence. My life is a place where I map sometimes overlapping binary values for things onto my understanding of the world. And frankly, I find it funny. I like knowing that the zipper on my jeans was invented by a Swede, and that it’s possible to have a fantasy hockey pool made entirely out of Swedish players (my plan for next season). I like knowing that my favourite lyricist hails from Winnipeg and used to work in the same building as my cousin. However, I know that I’m not the only person who thinks in two columns with little plus and minus signs in them. More and more lately I’ve been noticing the underlying assumption of “Christian” versus “not Christian” that pervades my social circle, and the qualities associated with each of these categories.
Why do we separate the world into “Christian” and “not Christian”? Theoretically I see the point. Christians have the Holy Spirit to guide them, and are being refined and made more Christ-like. Following from this, Christian things should have something about them that’s different, and better. Christian books, Christian music, Christian parties, Christian people – all of these should have the markings of someone’s relationship with Christ on them.
I take exception to the format that this thinking seems to have taken. From the way I’ve heard it used, it seems that to many people “Christian” simply means “good”, and “not Christian” simply means “bad”. What is it about “Christian” that is inherently good? God is good. Christians are just people living with a heavenly Friend. And what is it about “not Christian” that is inherently bad? Seeing as I have non-Christian friends who inspire me to be better, and who floor me with the quality of their lives, I have to say that in many cases the only visible difference between “Christian” and “not Christian” is the name.
I once told my friend about a quality guy I had just met. Her first response was, “yeah, but does he like JC?” To her, the “Christian” “not Christian” dichotomy was the most important thing. I don’t fault her for asking, knowing that she wanted me to make a safe and wise decision about my relationship with him. But it got me to thinking that if he had been a total a**hole, but met the “Christian” requirement, I probably would have had her unquestioning blessing.
Luckily for my inability to meet guys that I am “allowed” to date, I like being alone, or in small groups. I’ve never been a big party girl, and sometimes I realize that a group is the last place that I want to be. Not too long ago I received an invitation to a party, but I wasn’t feeling it. My friend tried to convince me to come with two ill-fated arguments. At first she told me that it was a Christian party, which meant it would be good. Having been to some excruciating Christian parties in my day, I continued to refuse. She redoubled her attack with the assertion that, seeing as I was single, it would be a great place to meet Christian guys. She had unwittingly dealt the coup de grâce. There was no chance that I would go to the only meat market worse than the bar – a Christian mixer.
The biggest differences between Christian mixers and the bar lie in the music choices, beverage alcohol content, lighting, and lateness of the party. Otherwise they’re both just places for eligible singles to meet other unattacheds and see where things go. Think back to youth group, when the new guy would show up and all the girls would make sure that he felt right at home. There was always that one girl who would date the new guy into the community, and then break it off once he had established a lasting friendship with his small group. Here we have two very similar situations with very similar goals. The bar is a little more open with the meat market label, but other than the demon liquor, which I will allow to be a dicey one to get too involved with, where is the clear-cut line between “good” and “bad”? And how is it that I’ve heard of so many good marriages on the “not Christian” side of the divide that started at the bar, and so many disastrous, even abusive ones on the “Christian” side that started at church? Could it be that we cast off men and women of good character because they are “not Christian”, and mask the serious character flaws of others with the catch-all “good” label of “Christian”?
Apparently, “Christian” and “not Christian” designations have become an easy way to make choices with very little thought. Thinking (or not thinking) like this is dangerous. When is it ever okay to stop thinking for yourself, and thinking on your feet? It also negatively affects the quality of the everyday – take for instance the blind acceptance of Christian music as “good” and secular music as “bad”. I will accede that there is some incredible Christian music in the world, and some horrific secular music, but I have a hard time accepting that a lot of schlocky Christian radio pop songs are good when they are full of identical rhymes and inferior lyrics. On the other hand, I refuse to stop listening to The Weakerthans – I know of no other band that saturates entire albums with such honest, jaw-dropping metaphor.
The other week I was doing some dishes and noticed that our bottle of dish soap had a little Jesus fish on it. To be honest, the soap was no Palmolive. I don’t know who bought it, but I bet the Jesus fish had something to do with the choice. For a few weeks we had decided to eschew soap that was “not Christian”, so there I was, trying to cut through heavy grease with the power of Christ.
Of course, considering the saga that is Mandi Kaye this week, that isn’t really surprising. I took a small break from the YA fantasy to read two Christian fiction books by Susan May Warren. Both are in the Team Hope series, and I loved both of them.
