This is a guest post – sort of. I read this over on Sara’s vox and loved it so much I asked if I could repost it.
How Binary Thinking Invaded my Kitchen
by Sara Johansson
I’m Swedish-Canadian. As such, my national heroes are often unsung, and I have been trained to see them among the throngs of the more visible popular favourites. In fact, when I learn a new word or concept, hear about new research or technology, read a new writer, or hear new music I automatically categorize it as “Swedish” or “not Swedish”, and as “Canadian” or “not Canadian”. This is the flavour of my existence. My life is a place where I map sometimes overlapping binary values for things onto my understanding of the world. And frankly, I find it funny. I like knowing that the zipper on my jeans was invented by a Swede, and that it’s possible to have a fantasy hockey pool made entirely out of Swedish players (my plan for next season). I like knowing that my favourite lyricist hails from Winnipeg and used to work in the same building as my cousin. However, I know that I’m not the only person who thinks in two columns with little plus and minus signs in them. More and more lately I’ve been noticing the underlying assumption of “Christian” versus “not Christian” that pervades my social circle, and the qualities associated with each of these categories.
Why do we separate the world into “Christian” and “not Christian”? Theoretically I see the point. Christians have the Holy Spirit to guide them, and are being refined and made more Christ-like. Following from this, Christian things should have something about them that’s different, and better. Christian books, Christian music, Christian parties, Christian people – all of these should have the markings of someone’s relationship with Christ on them.
I take exception to the format that this thinking seems to have taken. From the way I’ve heard it used, it seems that to many people “Christian” simply means “good”, and “not Christian” simply means “bad”. What is it about “Christian” that is inherently good? God is good. Christians are just people living with a heavenly Friend. And what is it about “not Christian” that is inherently bad? Seeing as I have non-Christian friends who inspire me to be better, and who floor me with the quality of their lives, I have to say that in many cases the only visible difference between “Christian” and “not Christian” is the name.
I once told my friend about a quality guy I had just met. Her first response was, “yeah, but does he like JC?” To her, the “Christian” “not Christian” dichotomy was the most important thing. I don’t fault her for asking, knowing that she wanted me to make a safe and wise decision about my relationship with him. But it got me to thinking that if he had been a total a**hole, but met the “Christian” requirement, I probably would have had her unquestioning blessing.
Luckily for my inability to meet guys that I am “allowed” to date, I like being alone, or in small groups. I’ve never been a big party girl, and sometimes I realize that a group is the last place that I want to be. Not too long ago I received an invitation to a party, but I wasn’t feeling it. My friend tried to convince me to come with two ill-fated arguments. At first she told me that it was a Christian party, which meant it would be good. Having been to some excruciating Christian parties in my day, I continued to refuse. She redoubled her attack with the assertion that, seeing as I was single, it would be a great place to meet Christian guys. She had unwittingly dealt the coup de grâce. There was no chance that I would go to the only meat market worse than the bar – a Christian mixer.
The biggest differences between Christian mixers and the bar lie in the music choices, beverage alcohol content, lighting, and lateness of the party. Otherwise they’re both just places for eligible singles to meet other unattacheds and see where things go. Think back to youth group, when the new guy would show up and all the girls would make sure that he felt right at home. There was always that one girl who would date the new guy into the community, and then break it off once he had established a lasting friendship with his small group. Here we have two very similar situations with very similar goals. The bar is a little more open with the meat market label, but other than the demon liquor, which I will allow to be a dicey one to get too involved with, where is the clear-cut line between “good” and “bad”? And how is it that I’ve heard of so many good marriages on the “not Christian” side of the divide that started at the bar, and so many disastrous, even abusive ones on the “Christian” side that started at church? Could it be that we cast off men and women of good character because they are “not Christian”, and mask the serious character flaws of others with the catch-all “good” label of “Christian”?
Apparently, “Christian” and “not Christian” designations have become an easy way to make choices with very little thought. Thinking (or not thinking) like this is dangerous. When is it ever okay to stop thinking for yourself, and thinking on your feet? It also negatively affects the quality of the everyday – take for instance the blind acceptance of Christian music as “good” and secular music as “bad”. I will accede that there is some incredible Christian music in the world, and some horrific secular music, but I have a hard time accepting that a lot of schlocky Christian radio pop songs are good when they are full of identical rhymes and inferior lyrics. On the other hand, I refuse to stop listening to The Weakerthans – I know of no other band that saturates entire albums with such honest, jaw-dropping metaphor.
The other week I was doing some dishes and noticed that our bottle of dish soap had a little Jesus fish on it. To be honest, the soap was no Palmolive. I don’t know who bought it, but I bet the Jesus fish had something to do with the choice. For a few weeks we had decided to eschew soap that was “not Christian”, so there I was, trying to cut through heavy grease with the power of Christ.
Very good point… where did all these titles come from anyway? The only difference between Christian and non-Christian is a love for the Lord. That doesn’t need a title. (It’s like since I have a love for my husband, Lloyd, I’m now a “Lloydian.”)
Thank heavens for THAT, ontheedge! Imagine the confusion if, in every marriage, each half of the couple exchanged names like that.
(And then, once this practice was entrenched, started aligning themselves based on their new names. All husbands and wives of Johns, considering that there would be so many of them, could take over the world! The Johnian revolution of 2094. Almost makes you not want to have kids.)
I didn’t know what a trackback was, so I clicked it. I don’t know what it did… or why… so if it confused you it was me.
Apparently, “Christian” and “not Christian” designations have become an easy way to make choices with very little thought.
Very true. People, not just Christians, really love sorting things into good boxes and bad boxes, and then only consort with the good. It’s easier. It’s kitsch. And people *love* kitsch.
I’m reminded of a bunch of songs by one of my favorite bands, Switchfoot. Practically everything off their album, Nothing Is Sound. This particular song may be particularly about sex, but the concept applies regardless.
She is easier than love
Is easier than life
It’s easier to fake and smile and bribe
It’s easier to leave
It’s easier to lie
It’s harder to face ourselves at night
Feeling alone,
What have we done?
What is the monster we’ve become?
Where is my soul?
Numb.
While I agree that we need to practice discernment and not just rely on other people’s labels, I think it’s important to note that we are instructed by the bible in several areas addressed in this post.
We are not to be unequally yoked. We are to be in the world, not of the world. And while our personal character is not necessarily better than anyone else’s, we are justified before God, and in the process of being sanctified (and if that doesn’t address sin issues related to behavior and attitudes, then you need to take another look at whether or not you really are saved). Those things do, in fact, separate Christians from non-Christians.
As I see it, the reason we categorize people into “Christian” and “non-Christian” is not to say one is good and the other isn’t, but to establish what our relationship to the person should be.
If a person believes the Bible is God’s Word, then when faced with a “good” non-Christian we would seek to love him or her — but not in a sharing life kind of way. No best friends, business partners, and certainly not marriage! But then, if a Christian behaves abominably we are to confront them and ultimately, if they persist, to distance ourselves from them.
In the end, it’s not about who’s good, it’s about who’s alive.
Rebecca– I think the categorizing for this purpose is strictly a Christian thing. I’m guess I’m one of this non-Christians, but I would not let that be the sole determining factor for who I am friends-business partners-etc with.
For me, in the end, it is about who is good: good people, leading good lives, REGARDLESS of their religious affiliations.
I’m reminded of the song “Imagine” right now, which asks what the world would be like if we weren’t costantly labelling ourselves, thereby creating strife and animosity unnecessarily.
Musicguy, you are right that categorizing for this purpose is a Christian thing.
My intent was to explain the Christian view. I certainly do not seek to create any strife and animosity.
It might not be the intent of Christians, but the end result, much of the time, tends to be just that.
Why must there always be a label or some other device to SEPERATE us?? In a rather lenghthy discussion at this blog, commentors, many of whom were Christian, complained about this country being divided because of hyphenations such as African-American. This Christian/non-Christian nonsense is even worse than the hyphenations.
I would love all those who commented on The American post to weigh in here.
Rebecca et al– you can find the dicussion here:
http://www.mandikaye.com/2007/06/19/politically-incorrect-to-be-an-american/
I think this post was inspired by a re-reading of the Gospels, and a consideration of how Jesus lived his life. That, and being invited to the party I mention. (Literal quote: “It’s Christian, so it will be good.” What is that?)
If we focus on Christ’s life, which I think is extremely important to do, we see him embracing the world as a whole; I love him for that. I love his ability and willingness to step out and break down social barriers, and to completely disregard how people are viewed within their respective worlds.
Some of my best friends aren’t Christians. They keep me on my toes. They remind me of how religious thinking is perceived by non-religious people, and express their own views to me with such thoughtful, thought-provoking defenses that it is impossible for me to consider them with anything less than respect, and love. They also teach me how to laugh at myself, and some of the ridiculous things about religion. They ask me questions that I myself wouldn’t think to answer without them. They’re so good for me… I wouldn’t trade them for anything. They were the other inspirations for this post, God love ‘em all.
My addition to this conversation is that a big part of this problem is the fact that “Christian” has changed through time. When it first came into being, it’s actually in the new testament in Antioch– and it was a term or derision. “Oh, you’re one of those… those Christians!” was the reference that was thrown upon believers in “the Way” so it was those that gave the name that was seeking to label.
It went from that to a badge of honor when Rome made Christianity a national religion. For the most part it stayed as a label meaning “believers of Christ” more than “born again” or any other phrase such that it started to be defined by denominations.
That is, until recently when it started being used as a marketing slogan or a convenient term for grouping people. It’s used both positively and negatively now, but all of the Christian hyphen stuff is just ridiculous for two reasons:
1. All things will eventually be holy to the Lord.
2. Most things labeled Christian do not have Christ as the focus.
Lastly, musicguy, I can agree with you to a degree– I can agree that categorizing people is wrong, but I would point out that no matter what it is, everyone does some degree of discrimination– some degree of categorizing of everyone and everything around them.