Last week I made a commitment here to grow more like Christ in thoughts, words, and actions. The next day I started a “daily” quiet time and shared what I learned here. Then I didn’t pick my Bible up again until today…ten days later. So I reread the first two chapters of James so they would be fresh in my mind, and then I finished the book.

I still don’t like it.

You’ll remember that I wrote about spiritual maturity and how God is showing me just how far from it I am. Well He kept it up today. Last week I wrote,

The main thing is that regardless of how I feel, I need to just do it. I’ve heard the truth. I know what I should be doing and how I should be acting. But there’s a world of difference between knowing and doing.

Today I read:

Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins. (James 3:17)

Come on! Wasn’t last week enough? Obviously not… And that’s a hard pill to swallow when you think you’re an all around good person.

I was also convicted of gossip. I don’t gossip too often, but I do it occasionally. I like to “be in the know” and then spread what I know. But God said:

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? (James 3:9-11)

I realize that cursing and gossip are two different things, but the application here is the same. The mouth that we use to praise God should not be used to tear down others. And gossip definitely tears down.

I often consider myself a “wise” person. People tell me I am quite often. And secretly, I love it. But when you apply my “wisdom” to the godly standard…it falls short.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter enby and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. (James 3:13-17)

Ack! That’s all I can really say. Pure. Me? Nope. I’m chock full of wicked thoughts. Impartial. Me? Nope. I tend to be judgemental–especially towards those whom I perceive to be judgemental! That tells me that I have “wisdom” but not wisdom.

At one point in Chapter 4, James echoes what Jesus said at the Sermon on the Mount:

Above all, my brothers, do not swear–not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your “Yes” be yes, and your “No,” no, or you will be condemned. (James 4:12)

Is my word really worth that much? I don’t think so.

And lastly:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)

This one is probably harder for me to deal with than all the rest. I don’t want to confess my sins to others because I’m ashamed of my sins. If I tell you what I really struggle with, will I lose my credibility? Will I lose your friendship? Will I be thought of as less of a Christian because of what I do struggle with?

The bottom line is this: Reading this short 5 chapter book has shown me how woefully short I fall of the glory of God. 

But I do know that hope is not lost! It’s discouraging to face yourself like this, but in all honesty, until you see yourself for what you really are, you can’t begin to change. I’ve always “known” that I’m a sinner, but I’ve never really looked inward to see specifically what needs to change. Now that I see some of it, I know where to start.

Trackposted to Pirate’s Cove, third world county, The Random Yak, Woman Honor Thyself, Dumb Ox Daily News, Conservative Cat, and Pursuing Holiness, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.